Alligator Privates

Sunshine and I had a lazy Sunday. We laid around and watched the America's Next Top Model marathon and commented on their escapades. I accompanied Sun to the mall to help her buy some bargains. I got a shirt that looks like a lampshade for 3 dollars. That means that I only have to wear it once. David, Sun's fiance, said I just had to think about wearing it.

Then we went to the Alligator Bayou, which incidentally is about five minutes from the office that Sunshine works in. To start our tour we went to a little pool surrounded by a high barrier with some small gators, some GIANT alligator snapping turtles, loads of red eared sliders, and some gar fish. The first thing the guy does is get in the pool (the water is about midcalf). Then he picks up a gator and gives it to a girl - a random tourist - and asks her to carry it around so everyone can see. She did it, but she was definitely nervous.

He threw raw chicken to all the little gators and talked about them, talked about the turtles and fish. Then he dragged one of the snappers out. The two snapping turtles in there are as big as car tires - meaning they can snap your arm if they want - I knew that, he knew that, but I am not sure the others did. So he dragged it out to feed it and make it stretch out it's neck, then held it's mouth open so we could see the lure-like tongue. Then he did it with the other one too. The man is crazy. Did I mention that he also did not have shoes on and the red-eared sliders kept trying to nip his toes? (red-eared lider is a funny name for an animal that does not have ears.)

Then we went over to the pseudo-bayou with the big gators. There was a covered boardwalk that we all herded onto while the man was tossing chicken to the gators. I got ahead of him and the herd to look around and I guess the gators felt the vibrations and knew we were coming and then I was coming and they all surfaced next to where I was standing. One even jumped and rammed the fence right at my legs - scary bc I was paying attention to something else and didn't even see him. They meant it when they said don't lean over the fence.

The gators were big; the gators were agressive. Did that stop me when I got the oppurtunity to go pick up the gator's tail? NO. Yes, I picked up a live gator's tail and sort of swung it around. It was quite heavy. There were two people with measly little wooden poles keeping the gator from turning around and snapping my head off.

Off on the boat ride through the bayou (I am not sure the technical definition of bayou - I think this may have been more flooded lake and riverish, but it was still beautiful). Sunshine and I captured front row seats next to a kid who got up and wandered around the boat the whole time. We went out and enjoyed the scenery while the guys explained the history of the area and how they used their own money to buy the land and preserve it - and how they are planning an interstate through the part that they don't own.

The man brought out some friends to show us while motoring through. The first was a Nutria - an aquatic rodent from South America that is devastating the area bc it breeds faster and more rapidly than rabbits and likes to eat the roots of the aquatic vegetation. By eating the roots, nutria destroy the plants, remove them, and erode the entire wetlands. The one he was carrying was kind of cure bc it was holding and eating a dumdum lollipop. Nutria also have orange front teeth (Karrie - consider yourself lucky you do not). He also brought out a possum (sun and I knew immediatley that it was the only marsupial in North America and also the only animal with a prehensile tail - go us!). Possums have wet noses - I know bc he rubbed it on my face. Later I got to stick my finger in the possum's pouch - it is smaller than I thought and furry on the inside.

They docked us somewhere along the way and we were able to get out and walk around and the guys brought out a few more friends. A baby gator, less than a foot long, was passed around - yes passed around. Sun and I both held it and took photos. We walked to see one of the biggest cypress trees in the swamp (not impressive in size compared to some trees I have seen recently, but it did have heaps and heaps of knees which are cool). When we came back they were passing around a bigger gator (bigger than Junie - maybe fender sized?). It's penis was hanging out. I said, "Look Sun, his penis is showing." She didn't hear me so I repeated it. The guy turned to me and said, "will you be quiet this is a family establishment and you will embarrass him." He wasn't really mad. I told him that my mom could tell him funny stories about taking me to the zoo when I was little - he agreed that she probably could. Despite my inappropriate observation I did get to hold the larger gator. It was pretty heavy, but it's skin felt really awesome.

After that we got back on the boat, enjoyed the ride back with some cajun music, and headed home to share our adventures with David.