Matched Socks

Aaron told me once upon a time that it was a good day. When asked why, he said because he had on matching socks.

Let's pause a moment here to consider a few things.

1. When I was in middle school I thought it was cool to wear mismatched socks and purposefully wore them that way for more than a year. 
2. There is a company making millions selling mismatched socks.
3. All of Aaron's socks are white. Mmm. Aaron has a drawer with white socks and a drawer with black socks which he only wears when he is really trying to impress someone.
4. Aaron's white sock drawer is full to capacity - meaning I have to shove them down to shut the drawer. 
5. None of Aaron's socks are matched in the drawer. I know that there are a few people who subscribe to this rule of thought, but if you want to guarantee matched socks - match them before they go in the drawer! Plus I do most of the laundry! Just ask me to do it!

So it's officially summer vacation. I have some things to do, but lots of free time to do small projects. Enter the sock project. Just what is in Aaron's white sock drawer that makes it so difficult to have a good day with matching socks? I feel like I ought to know as I shove clean socks in there every week, yet I am mystified.

Step 1: Dump all white socks on the floor.

 Step 2: Sort socks by characteristics. Surprisingly difficult. I believe that besides one pair of gold toes, all of Aaron's socks are Hanes brand, yet there is still diversity. Most of these socks say Hanes across the toes, but in different color thread and sometimes in different font.

For example, take a look at this photo. The top row is a lone pink thread Hanes sock that he must have inadvertently stolen from an ex-girlfriend. Next are the black thread Hanes, the red thread HANES (in capslock), and then a few cropped Hanes socks. The bottom row are the gray heels and toes that don't say Hanes, followed by the gray thread Hanes, two versions of the red thread Hanes written with upper and lowercase letters, one pair of gold toes and a smattering of plain white non-Hanes socks that incidentally have no matches. Who knew that one guy could have so much white sock diversity?

Step 3: Cull out really worn out ones and ones with no matches.What to do with these socks? Is there a use or do I just toss them?

Step 4: Put the most numerous varieties (Hanes in medium sized upper and lowercase red letters and no-name gray toes and heels) back in the drawer.

Step 5: Finish doing laundry and sort clean white socks into appropriate piles and locations.

Step 6: Await Aaron to see what he thinks about the other piles.

I culled some of my own socks as well - easier because mine are all matched already and I knew which ones are long overdue for tossing. Does everyone have an insane cornucopia of socks? Aaron didn't even try for it - he just prepared for forgoing months without doing laundry by always buying the same brand and still fell victim.

If Aaron did not have so many socks and if it didn't seem like such a waste, then I would be tempted to toss them all and start over. Or at least toss out the Hanes varieties that have less than twenty socks. It seems wasteful to do that though. I am sure Aaron  will think I am crazy for sorting his socks in the first place (and he will not be the only one), however if I can contribute to a good day as Aaron finishes his last week of school - then I can take half an hour from my summer vacation to sort his socks.