Reality

Anyone who has ever tried to keep a blog or a diary knows it only works when you have 2-3 things going. 1. You need time to do it, or you need to make time to do it. 2. You need something (anything) to write about. 3. You have to want to do it. Reality - I haven't had much motivation.

We have been back to school for a little bit now (I think this is the third week, but honestly its hard for me to keep track), and everybody seems to be back in the swing of things. In general, attendance is good, kids are learning, sports are going, school is happening. Classes are 120minutes (ish) which are longer than before (80minish), but I seem to have no time filling it. In Marine Ecology I feel like I am covering things fast, but in depth, but in Chemistry I still feel like I am making progress at a snail's pace. Except for yesterday. I rocked it yesterday. Reality - It doesn't help that I really don't like the beginning units for chemistry (because they are boring).

Officially - I do not like this schedule. Maybe because I felt like I was going to have all this free time to do things and do stuff and I feel like I really haven't. I'm not too sure why, but its a compilation.

The first is that statistics is kicking my butt. It's hard and I struggle to understand it. Aaron is helpful, but sometimes it is frustrating when he glances at it and says "oh blah blah blah." Then again, he has taken more math classes than I ever will or wanted to. I avoided math after high school and now I may be paying for it. Reality - I try too hard to keep an A. Perhaps I should remember O-chem.

The second is sleep. At first, I was allowing myself to sleep in. Sleeping in on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday. I think this is a recipe for disaster. I was seeing it in myself and also in my students - good kids struggling to stay awake. I have urged them to consider setting a time to get up - even if its 9 - and I myself am trying to get up at 7. I started last week. Day 1 did not work. However now I get up alright and get myself to the gym to get going. Reality - I need a schedule.

The third is work. Working from 730 to 450 sucks. I realize that plenty of people work those hours are longer, but can I perhaps argue that working with teenagers can be draining? Especially with the amount of energy I put in. I may have a longer planning period, but it doesn't seem long enough. At 450, staying after is not an option. It happens, but I don't want to. Then I get home and I want to do even less (including statistics). Reality - work smarter, not harder! Now how do I do that?

Fourth - I am going to blame the weather. It seems like every day I have off and have free time it is gray, gloomy, and may be raining. It is hard to drag yourself hiking in that kind of weather and the pervasive gloom creeps indoors. Also, on days I know I have to finish stats or do grades - the sun is shining. Reality - I left Long Island knowing that gray days affect my mood. Maybe I need a grow lamp.

Lastly, Uncertainty. Everything is uncertain. We are still not allowed in the high school. Most rooms are still full of things. Things have been misplaced while trying to move them. (I had to listen to a teacher explain to a class why they were getting ripped and torn textbooks that were being held together with rubberbands (because that's the quality brought over - not the newer ones).) More devastating photos have been released including video from the hallway during the earthquake. Aftershocks are still occurring, but thankfully infrequently, small, and none noticeable while school was in session. We have no idea what the forward plan is. They say mobile high school for next semester (which now begins in February instead of January) and until a new high school is built or ours is fixed. That's uncertain - which will happen. What else is uncertain is how long this will take. A minimum of two years in the mobiles a maximum of ? What does this do to our budget? Will I ever ever get a raise or even a cost-of-living adjustment? Probably not. Will good teachers leave Louisa because of the situation?

The reality is - despite this crazy situation - I still like where I work and what I do even if I dislike the schedule. Yeah things are uncertain and sometimes creeping towards overwhelming, but I still feel the administration is busting their butts to try to make everything as normal as possible, trying to make good decisions, and trying to move forward.

Reality I think, is what you make of it. Today is my reality is laundry, crafting, and statistics. Tomorrow my reality will be keystone species, niches, and solubility.